And so here I am, staring at my beloved blog once more.... Who am I kidding....? Just skip the intro lah! No more fuzz....
It's The Time..... ^_^2nd of May 2013.... The day when I resolved to myself to wait for Miss That-Special-Someone for one whole year. Yeap! You heard that right! Officially single for one whole year just to wait for someone I think might be a worthwhile waiting. And there, I gone back to Limbang, hopefully that she might say yes, or at least reconsider the second chance. And I do stumbled a lot of obstacles, and it includes almost losing grips in my promises to keep single. But then, I got a hold on myself, and I still clinging on my promises being single just for her.
And here we go.... 2nd May 2014, after one years I kept myself being single; and here's what happened:
Two days after the 2nd May, I do received a call from Miss That-Special-Someone, and I do still the nervousness and awkwardness during the first few seconds of calling. To be honest, I am almost forget about the promises that I've done last year. But then, when she suddenly said that she would like to move on, I braced the impacts. And yes, the impacts are heart-strucking, as KurtHugoSchneider's 'Say Something' coincidently played throughout the whole conversations... I do felt much surprised that time, as I didn't expect it happens to be, well at least that time...
Here's what I felt right then: I didn't want to have a relationship that only based on feelings and I don't want my girl to also have that kind of attitude. Love based on merely feelings. No, I don't want those. I'm a guy that do commits to someone and yes, I'm a loyal one. So, I'm really picky and selective in finding the right girl, or at least the one that could accept me the way I am. Even when it took a few more years to discover one, so be it... Rather than having someone that still could felt loneliness instead of happiness, whenever she's by my side.
So what's happened after the conversations?
Well, I do accept her flaws and I do accept her the way she is..... Together? That's a funny questions. Well, no; or not yet, or never will be again; but to be honest, I think I should proceed with who I am right now. Move on and accept her as a friend. My best, old-friend (since we've known for 7+ years) and with a little twists of dramas.... Hahahaha! xD
"But then, don't you regret trying to let go of all of this? After all those wailing, all of tears you shed, and ultimately sacrificing your one years just for her, when there's some girls are waiting for you, probably still waiting for that one little glimpse of chance to love you just the way you craved your love for her?"
*sigh... That's tough. I once though that all of my life was all about her. What she is, what she like, what she went through, and what was she felt. But then, let's look at a more broader, more wider perspective. I actually didn't realised that there's someone else that really matters than her, well at least back then. Family, friends, and I mean a lot of friends; they meant a lot for me and I just didn't realised about that. So, why don't I just cherish the whole thing? Of course she's also important as she shaped my life like 45% of my life, but then I can't just ignored another 55% of who's that shaped me.... To be honest, I still do have feelings for her, and I still love her. But my love for her is already in a level where my love for her is the love of a friend, as a best, close friend...
And 9.04pm 5th May 2014, I officially letting her go, the way she had wanted. She already moved on, and I think I should too.... Another chapter closed, and new chapter was written. And it's called 'Being Single'... And I could assure you, that this chapter will be much longer than usual. And no, I don't want to have a relationship, well at least for another few years... Ouch!
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So that's all.... I don't really mind being single. If I could survive for 2 years, then another 3 years? Bring it on, baby! Now let me love my friends, families, and my gadgets.... =3 See ya on my next updates!
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bro-fist!
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