This Is Not The End That I Wanted...!

This is not what i wanted...! Everything ive done, everything ive sacrificed for them, so much! And yet this is the end.... The stupid no-happy-ending stories.... Why?

Owh sorry for that intro.... Im really not in the good mood to say this, but what ive to say might be hurting some parties.... Like really hurting someone...

You might still remember my last post that ive to let go of Miss That-Special-Someone and move on. And yeah, ive moved on with another girl, another whole new life, and somehow the shadow  of my past is still haunting me like shit! Yeah, dulu saya bazirkan masa saya selama empat tahun menunggu dia dan masih saya tak dapat apa2....

Might be some of you peeps yang lansung tak paham naper saya frust giler update status ni... Actually, what i read from Miss That-Special-Someone's blog, dia skrg ni, em... from what i see is in the verge of break-up's! Hell yeah, im so damn pissed off. Sebab naper, im now speaking on behalf of Daphne right now...

For the last five months, i knew that time yang masa tu Daphne sedang menjalinkan hubungan bersama Daniel. For me, that's fine. Im okay, i let go of her on February 2013 and move on.... No problem. Well, i enjoy watching them happy in each others arm. Like if they happy, im so damn happy! But now, i felt so pissed off and fuckingly shit towards Daniel!

Daniel, this is for you! for once i thought you are the luckiest guy on Earth, having her as your girlfriend. You know how painful ive to wait for FOUR YEARS to get her, but still none?! But when you ask her to become your girlfriend, you know how much misery ive to bear since that four years i found nothing, but pain, loneliness and thinking of myself, like damn IF ONLY.... If only i had the guts,  if only i found strength, if only.... But then i think over and over again. How foolish are you, taking your pride and ego over her, cause you know what Niel, no love could be done without trust, without self-giving, without someone who could give a way to another to win, and yet you think you could win everything. You know what, you're not! You're arguing with Daphne, and doubt whether she still love you or not?! Guess what, you're so blind! Can't you see how much she loved you from the early beginning of you relationship?! I don't know when you referring ME or another Darren, or another ex she used to loved and be loved, but what i can say that you're so damn ungrateful. Can't you realised of who she is? As emo she can be, as ego she can be, as selfish she can be, in reality, she still loves you. And when she do, SHE MEAN IT!

Niel, please understand me... I don't want your ego and selfishness build up your misery next time you'll see her with another guy. I don't want you to end up like me... I don't want you to be like me, crying and shedding a tears everytime you hear 'When I Was Your Man' like i was when i first hear that song... And please, im waiting for four years, not like this... This is not the end that i wanted! What i wanted is my bro, my old pal, the 'Edward' in the stories would find happy ending with Daphne, with 'Bella', with the girl that i used to love her so much, that i could take a grenade for her... That she knew that i could do anything for her... Niel, please understand her. Sometime, you have to put aside your ego and paranoia for Daph, because when she's ego, she really need someone to comfort her. Because when she doing something crazy, she wants your attention. Because when she smile, she's happy... And trust me, when she said she'll give you some space, that's mean she's tolerant and care about you... I guess you're just too ego to even care about that, huh?

Daph, if you read this, i don't mean to interfere your personal life, but as a friend and as your part of the list, i knew i've to act somehow. I don't wanna see a girl get her life and her world torn apart by a guy who apparently is my old buddy.... I don't wanna see my girl that i used to held so close to my heart be torn apart by a guy whom i called, 'brother'... Just to express that this is not the end that i wanted.... XOXOD