Im In Twilight..?

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Korang tentu tertanya2 apesal pulak saya nak sngat cakap psal ni... This Twilight thing...? And might be some of you, especially guys thinking that Twilight is only for girls, and should not be watched by men at all cost. To those who think that way, how stereotype you are.... Weih, skrg ni, trend lelaki pakai subang, kasi rambut panjang, favourite colour pun warna pink, tu bukan hal2 untuk perempuan sj kah? Kmon lah... Ohohoho... sori tersasul bahasa 'debate' ni pulak. Right now, we're talking about:

IM IN TWILIGHT..?

Owh yeah... Im in Twilight series.... But not the Twilight di mana saya berlakon sekali dengan Kristen Steward, Robert Pattinson skali dengan Taylor Lautner, (walaupun saya pun ada memasang angan2 nak berlakon sekali dalam Twilight... XP), nope... Not that... Yang saya maksudkan ialah drama dan epiknya hidup saya melalui pandangan sang serigala jadian, Jacob Black... Really? Yeah....

Lagipun saya ada tengok citer Twilight: Breaking Dawn- Part One, di mana Bella berkahwin dengan Edward, frantically at her stunning young age (which was 18, come on, saper nak kahwin dalam usia semuda tu?) then honeymoon, woohoo, and tertiber Bella mengandungkan anak yang memang sah2 menjadi masalah kepada keluarga Cullen kerana puak serigala berpendapat bahawa anak yang dikandung Bella would be a threat to humans and the Werewolves... walau bagaimanapun, Jacob yang masih menyayangi Bella berganding bahu dengan keluarga Cullen, dan menentang mana2 pihak yang cuba untuk membunuh bayi Bella dan Edward, walaupun terpaksa menentang puak Jacob sendiri.... Well, that's the summary of Twilight: Breaking Dawn- Part1....

Well, what makes me eager to tell the Twilight drama? First and foremost, i can imagine myself at Jacob's situation where his unbound love towards Bella is undeniable... second, his hasty decision and mind almost reflect myself. And damn, i almost burst out to tears when Jacob is crying over Bella.... Imagine if you yourself in a situation where you love someone, so true, so great that someone you love noticed you love them. And in somehow, every gesture that they done towards you seem giving a spark of lights and hope that she or he would be your special one someday... but it seems like they noticed your love, but don't really want to accept your love because with the reason, she got someone else.... What do you feel?

Disappointment, heart-breaked, to something more devastating...?

Yeah, but still, i admired the will and strength of Jacob sebab dia menerima realiti tu. Owh yeah, i grow more and more respect toward this dude! Walaupun dia masih sayangkan Bella, walaupun dia terpaksa melihat Edward sering bermesraan dengan Bella, apa dia kisah?!Janji dia protect Bella till the death... And honestly, it was a bold yet wise decision... Makes me more eager to protect that someone special, even if she can't see the honesty of my heart, plus she got someone else by her side...

Oh man... Totally i can relate my past experiences with Twilight series! Heck yeah, #TeamJacob.... XOXOD

Chill Girl.... I enjoy this! ^^

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Semasa korang baca ni, sy sedang gembira layan lagu 'Missing You' oleh John Waite, and thanks to the movie 'Warm Bodies' im now addicted by that song... Pergh, sementara org lain layan House music,electronica, upbeats, all those, saya pulak layan '80s song... Well, today, too much hapiness surround me, and i just wanna share my bundle of happiness to everyone... Mesti esok keja mesti dengan muka yg mmg ceria, manis, smiley, all those...

Orait, so naper sy hepi ceria semacam nie? To be honest....

SAYA KELUAR DENGAN MS. THAT-SPECIAL-SOMEONE....!!!

Yeap, sounds so differ... Ex kuar pergi outing dgn ex, worst case scenario, masing2 jadi skandal dalam hubungan masing2, but let me assure you. No harm, no offence, dan lain2 telah dibuat. Keluar pun kan sebagai rakan lama... Right?

Lgpun, sebenarnya dah lama dah plan pegi outing ni sebenarnya tetapi ada jugak yg terlampau busy... Masa saya free, dia sibuk dengan kerja dia. And to be exact, saya rasa kecewa jugaklah. Mana tau kot2 dia tak nak jumpa saya atas sebab2 tertentu, but then i realised i was just paranoid... Masa dia kata dia ada free pulak, saya jugak yang sibuk. Sibuk dengan urusan2 kerja, with my current girlfriend tu semua... Dia pulak kot2 kecewa jugak. But NOW, masing2 free pada hari Isnin. Punyalah 'over the moon' mode, smpai Isnin 25 Mac, gegas2 bersiap gara2 leka Facebook. Gitarnya dibawa ttp sesuatu yang tak da....

Right on time, bas trus datang exactly masa saya bru smpai ke bus stop. Then tengok jam kul 12.15pm, saya smpai tepat pd masanya kat Coffee Beand And Tea Leaf kat Bintang Megamall. Lunch, Vanilla Coffee Iced Blended... Enjoying my 'lunch' while sightseeing Miri's daylight, just amazing! Well, waited for a while sampai kuar lagu 'Harlem Shake' kat handphone. Tengok sapa yang call, tertiber Daniel Nueng yang call... aih, apesal lak dia call? Apabila disahut, owh... Daphne... Owh... Few minutes, a girl with a red maroon hooded shirt, with her man arrived. Ok, thats an arkward feeling... Chill out, Darren... Chill out! Damn it, i can't chill myself... Owh, ok, just take a deep breath, and let it go slowly... That's much better.

Pastu apabila jalan2 sekitar Megamall, kurang 15 minit, Daniel pulak dpt call drpd mak dia... And what he said? He said that he had to go somewhere else, and i somekind like what? Daniel bro, ko giler kah ape nak tinggalkan teman wanita kamu dengan bekas teman lelaki dia?! gosh dang it! Now im feeling more arkward and super nervous right now.... Think Darren think! What you can do right now? Dan saya start dengan, "Hey, nak pegi GSC tak?" dan dia ok ok saja.. Smpai situ, beli dua tiket movie 'Warm Bodies' kul 1.45pm... Actually, saya nak beli satu lagi tiket untuk Daniel, ttp memandangkan dia mungkin takkan datang balk dalam masa yang terdekat, so beli dua jerlah... Pstu jalan2 lagi sekitar Megamall, and damn it! Saya masih rasa arkward lagi nih... So we decided to go to Pizza Hut to order some pizzas and headed back to Coffee Bean once more sementara menunggu movie tu.

Kat Coffee Bean, we have a nice conversation... About school, life, work, and damn it, i cant stare her eyes! Somehow, her eyes bring a fatal glance to me... Dan dia cabar saya untuk eye-to-eye contact... And yes i did... My oh my, might be one of Daphne's feature why Daniel loves her... XP... Anyway, almost 2.45pm dan kami chat2 on the way to GSC Lite... Buang satu jam empat puluh lima minit kat GSC layan movie 'Warm Bodies', gelak sama2, dan babak2 menakutkan tu, dia tutup muka dia dgn beg dia and geez, setiap kali dia camtu, a smile came out from my face... Such a girl, dia jugak yg suggest cerita seram, cerita seram jugaklah saya bagi... But somehow, saya yang selamba tengok, sedangkan dia menghayati cerita tu...

Abis layan citer tu, pegi Pizza Hut, ambik pizzas dan have a quick cover of us... 'Just A Kiss' by Lady Antebellum... And here comes the problem... Gitarnya dibawa pemiliknya, but my Canon handycam...!!!! OMG!!! SAYA LUPA BAWA!!! Handycam tu ada kat tepi laptop masa saya rushing mau pegi bus stop...! Damn it! Rasa yang terlampau lampau bersalah ngan Daph. Yelah kan, dan bawa perempuan jauh2 jalan kaki pegi City Fan, dengan peluh giler mcm kena basah hujan... Damn it! Last2 tangguh jerlah cover tu smpai next outing... And she profusely saying sorry that i've to go through such a burden bawa pizza dia, pinjam kredit saya, dan kena tunggu dia... Pfft, i don't feel burdened... What i feel is joy and happiness... Trust me, and CHILL GIRL, I ENJOY THIS MOMENTS...

Last2 pegi Boulevard Hypermall, dan blanja pizza dgn co workers dia. Geez, so good to see her blanja Pizza Hut dgn co workers dia. Reminds me of treating Big Apple Donuts to my Kenny Rogers friends last week... Then abis tu, pegi Tea Box dan layan Milk Tea with Pearls... And whats the weird yet funny part is kami dua layan jugak one regular pizza Cheezy Deluxe kat Tea Box di Boulevard yang memang menarik pandangan orang ramai, especially yang nak naik pegi tingkat atas... Imagine you saw two people, a guy and a girl who seated one table, happily eating cheese pizza from Bintang Megamall but eating at Boulevard instead.. Weird, huh?

The final part, at 6.05pm we go to the bus stop in front of the Boulevard and had another nice conversation, with Miri sunset atmosphere... Ah geez, i love it! When the bus to Permy arrived we waved at each other, watching that bus go, far away from my eyes, and hoping that i'll might see her again, cause i still remember what 'Warm Bodies' quotes: Cherish that moments cause that moments might be the last moments you'll ever see... XOXOD

Friendzone- d?

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Dah keluar result SPM dan unfortunate to say that saya hanya dapat 1A, 2A-, 3B+, 1C+, 1D, 1E, dan 1G... tetapi jadilah, asal jak cukup syarat nak gi UPSI kat perak tu sudahlah... at least i'd got 7 credits... enough to go to pursue my would-be-career as a teacher! For those who get scored flying colour during their last SPM  2012, congrats and keep on pursuing your dreams of becoming someone in society... Right now, just chillax, sit back and enjoy while we're talking about:

FRIENDZONE....?

You still remember my last post, "Thanks For The Memories..." where i finally tell the lady behind the name 'Ms. That-Special-Someone'... That's right, Daphne Donna, which apparently my 'part of the list'... beberapa hari setelah saya post update 'Thanks for the memories', dia pulak update post bertajuk "I Love Both Of Them" di mana saya memang shocked, terkejut and awe at the same time... yeap, apparently she still loves me, both as a friend and as a boyfriend. something totally unexpected! betul nih... i don't expect this. Malah masa kami chat masa tu, memang sheepishly shy, gagap, and speechless for both of us.... masing2 terpaku macam paku, sebab masih sukar untuk menerima hakikat masa tu. Hakikat yang kitorang masih sayang punya sayang walaupun dah ada orang lain... And honestly, i still love her, both as a friend and a girlfriend... Sapa kisah kalau saya kena sayangkan dua perempuan pada masa yang sama... Sebab dalam hati saya saya sayangkan girlfriend saya, Nancy 100% dan Daphne, 100% jugak...

Kebanyakan hubungan saya dulu selalu berakhir dengan term 'friendzone'... malah lansung tak layan pun ada... But hubungan saya dengan Ms That-Special-Someone (semua orang dah tau siapa...) sekarang ni memang lain sangat2... who knows hubungan empat tahun yang memang sah2 yang paling lama dalam hidup saya boleh jadi macam ni... Dimana orang lain lain akan masuk kawasan 'friendzone' sekiranya jumpa dengan ex dia, kami dua, lansung tak da frasa 'friendzone' amenda tu, dari apa yang saya fikirlah... 

Semasa peeps semua tengah baca blog ni, sekarang kami dua memang selalu chat... bukan nak kata skandal kah apa tu semua, sebab saya ni bukan jenis orang yang giler nak kacau hubungan orang lain. Melainkan saya kena masuk campur, jadi orang ketiga kerana tak disedari turut terlibat jugak. Itu pun worst case scenario, and i really wanna avoid that... Lagipun, saya kenal sangat dengan teman lelaki Daphne yang juga merupakan buddyz lama saya sejak sekolah rendah lagi... Dan akhirnya, reunion kami dua masa kat Boulevard Hypermall situ... dengan Daph kat area VOIR jugak... But hey, that's ok. What matters is three of us friends as always...! You, Daniel Nueng! Klau kamu baca ni... Baik ko jaga Daphne baik2... Sekali ko buat dia rasa nak sebak, nak nangis, Tuhan saja yang tau apa saya nak buat dengan kamu... Chewah... Just kidding... (Tapi part jaga hati Daphne tu betul2 serius. I mean it!)

The best part for next week ialah minggu depan, i'll be making my next cover with her hari Isnin kat Miri City Fan dengan lagu, em kasi secret dulo lah... How i'm excited and i'm really looking forward for this... Harap2 dengan second cover nih, sama2 popular dalam Youtube macam Youtuber lain seperti KurtHugoSchneider, 

Sam Tsui, Boyce Avenue, Chester See, Alex Goot, TiffanyAlvord, David Choi dan lain2 Youtuber feymes yang lain... Pergh, memasang cita2 yang terlampaulah tinggi... but its not impossible.... 

Keep on dreaming and never stop believing... Wait for my next cover. See yaon my next blog update! XOXOD

Am I So Hated And Despised....?

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Ah geez.... Another few days dan keputusan yang membawa saya ke peringkat U akan tiba... Terlampau nervous, tak senang tidur, butterfly in my stomach dan bermacam2 ungkapan yang mengambarkan nervous tu semua ada... but you know what, lets get back to the main topic...

AM I SO HATED AND DESPISED?!

Yeap, seems so unreal that a guy like me has a hater.... i just dont know why... what im commenting, what im updating my status, all those semua dia nak comment kat status saya kat Facebook! i just wanna stand whats right, correct what my peeps had done wrong, but it seems that my hater want it that way... they just standing whats wrong, and even commenting what ive done is right! like duh, cikgu takda ajar moral kah kat haters nih? yang salah kata betul. yang betul kata salah, sot kah apa kepala dia tu... dahlah comment terlampau teruk sampai mau jerit, memaki hamun pun ada... haters, ko ingat ko comment ni bagus sangat kah? daripada camtu, baik lagi korang gi parti politik kah, PKR kah, DAP kah, PAS kah, dan debate ngan kerajaan... nak tengok ko nih ada cabut lutut ke tak?! pleaselah....

Cuba dengar apa yang saya kata, haters.... saya cuba ingin membetulkan apa yang salah, sama ada dari segi tatasusila, moral, sahsiah, malah apa yang cikgu ajar... i mean whats wrong with that? agak2 lah, weih.... klau  nak keluarkan rasa benci tu, cubalah aim kat Tian Chua kah, 'Sultan' Jamallul Kiram kah, Botak Chin kah, sapa2 yang patut dibenci tu lah, benci ngan diorg... kan lagi elok, daripada benci melulu kat saya, hanya kerana saya memperbetulkan apa yang silap dan salah... kmonlah... 

Bagi yang non-haters tu, terutama sekali yang tidak suka berperangai benci tu.... thx ya dan kekalkan sifat non-hater korang, tetapi ada satu quote daripada Eminem, dia macam nih:

"Do you have enemy? That's good, 'cause you're standing of what you are...." 

#So long guys, and see you in the next blog update! XOXOD

Silently Screaming...

Someone point me in the right direction
Tell me where's the nearest piece of mind?
I'm going crazy

Knight in shining armor in the distance
He sees the angel threatening my life
Why won't he save me?

All I want is somebody to give a damn
Notice that I'm struggling and lend a hand
They say
Everybody needs someone to understand
Well damnit that includes me too

And all I want is someone to be there for me
Someone that genuinely cares
But I'm just dreaming
It's like I'm silently screaming

Even though I'm totally surrounded
I feel like I'm in here by myself

How about you do it cause you love me?
Not cause you want something in return
Is that so crazy?
Crazy

In the middle of the sea of helpless
But see, I never learned how to swim
Somebody save me
Somebody save me

All I want is somebody to give a damn
Notice that I'm struggling and lend a hand
They say
Everybody needs someone to understand
Well damnit that includes me too

And all I want is someone to be there for me
Someone that genuinely cares
But I'm just dreaming
It's like I'm silently screaming

Somebody to catch me when I fall
Somebody to help me through it all
Someone I can trust
Tell me if I'm asking too much

All I want is somebody to give a damn
Notice that I'm struggling and lend a hand
They say
Everybody needs someone to understand
Well damnit that includes me too

All I want is someone to be there for me
Someone that I can genuinely trust
But I'm just dreaming
It's like I'm silently screaming

Even though I'm totally surrounded

Silently screaming

I feel like I'm in here by myself

Silently screaming

#Now Playing: Silently Screaming by Ne-Yo... Just describing my emotion right now... XOXOD

Thanks for the memories...

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Yo wassup guys... Alamak lamak gilak tak update blog... Yalah, dah nama keja, semua nak mintak overtime. Overtime sini, overtime sana, sini sana overtime, kadang2 nak makin gila dengan customer complaint2 makanan belum sampai, lama sngat, ni tak da, tu tak da... Agak2 lah weih, makanan jangan ditolak, jangan dipilih. nanti kena tulah kang baru ko tau...

Dengan rasminya, saya telah bertukar status daripada single kepada kapel, yeah!!! Well nampaknya Ms. That-Special-Someone ternyata ialah kawan kepada ex saya sendiri, iaitu Miss Nancy Alra Annenaliese also known as Mdm. Duke... Kwang3... Mula2 semua orang memang surprised giler apabila dengar berita ni, apa lagi masa maok update relationship ngan dia, ttp kan dah nama jodoh! yes ajerlah jawabnya...

But wait. camner ngan Ms. That-Special-Someone tu? Yeah, that Ms? Well, i kinda saying like i've to let go of her... i cant just stay like this, waiting and hoping that someday a miracle might happen, like she's gonna break up with her man and come back to me, and all my wait, patience and effort to regain our relationship would pay off, no... i can't stay like this... i mean how am i gonna move on if i cant stop hoping for her... Yeah, its true what my buddy Steve Burnett quote, "ure still not mature when u still live in ur own hope of regaining a girl who has someone else..." firstly, i said like shit you, Steve! I live my life just for her, and shes all i cared about. And someday, i'll get her if God wants me to do... but when i looked back, how stupid i am wasting my 4 years waiting and stare what would happen... So i'll take Steve's advice seriously, starting to chat with my Ms. That-Special-Someone and consider her as my friend, my crush, my first love, my hated girl, and now as my own friend and my part of the list... (since i dont feel comfortable using ex-girlfriend)...

Last two days, i walked alone from my home to Carmelite Church, Miri and walked slowly... watching the leaves fall down and wondering how it all began at the St Francis Of Assisi Seminary... of how that term 'Grace' has in common with us... and of how we became a couple... of my first time held a girls hand while the song "Beautiful Savior" sung... never knew that all this time, she still loves me, but i was just too stupid, ego and naive to know that. even to accept that reality... but now, i just wanna say, thank you Daphne Donna, my Ms. That-Special-Someone... Thanks for accepting me that 14 February 2008, thanks for letting me held your hand that Praise And Worship during Easter Camp... Thanks for playing such a huge role in shaping who i am, and thanks for the memories that we've been through together... :') But now let it be someone else who take ur place in my heart... But still i'll cherish the memories until the day i'll depart from the world. Cause Daph, i've once think that u had be sended by God for me... XOXOD

#Hopefully Her Partner Share His Love For Her Such The Way I Do...

That Ms Elegant-Dream...

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Its been a little while since i haven't updating, cause im quite busy with all the works at Kenny Rogers there. Too busy with the customers, crews, and managers until i even cant arrange myself... No 'self-control' eh? haha... Well you guys can say like that...

So everytime i felt so tired and so sleepy, i felt into a deep sleep. The weird part is that i dream of being an audience... the only audience at the classical-style theater while that someone, whom i called her Ms Elegant-Dream suddenly showed up with her stunning black dress, violin at her hand, spotlight over her, playing the violin with the song 'Midnight Sonata' so gracefully and elegantly, even her mysterious stare still haunting my mind... And that dream continues for exact 6 days... Gosh, that's a little bit scary though, but somehow she amazed me a lot...

Hopefully that she'll not be coming back again, but still i miss her stare... XOXOD