Thank You, Kubong..... :')

Hey ho hi, peeps and blogger.... Blogger Man login and updating!

It's been a good, in fact great ending i've been.... Good memories stay in my sophisticated head...macam lah...? But by the way, let me tell you what I've been through:

Thank You, Kubong!

I never knew I would be stepping on SMK Kubong, Limbang.... Not that it's the most famous school with ability to produce so much great students, and yet here I am, standing.... I don't want to be here.... Seriously! NEVER! I thought Kubong might be only transit school, in case i can't go to IPTA, then form 6 might be the only way... But apparently, during the UPU result, nyah engkau Darren! you don't get those..... And i said like what????!!!! Heck no, i'm not going to stay at Kubong more than one month....

But as June comes in, I realised that Kubong wasn't so bad after all.... All you need is a little bit of dedications and enjoy yourself. That's all. (except the Form 6 Modular System.... i never liked that system) And as I progress from day to day, everything seems so enjoyable... I mean everything. Got chased by admirers (LOL!), got chased by seniors, and get a taste of being the high school seniors.... From being dumped inside the fish pond (hate to say, but i've to say i enjoy that one), to being the YCS Kubong leader, and then singing till i'm having a sore throat with my buddies till the moment when firework display during school Raya after i made a speech that i'm going to leave Kubong...

Certainly Kubong had taught me one or two lessons about life: One. If there's something good in front of you, you deserved it. It's the question whether you would like to grab that, or let it slip away; and Two: Never hesitant to get whatever you REALLY wanted so much and get it whatever the cost when you know it worth so much....

So, one words or two about Kubong and my juniors?

Listen to what you whisper and keep on fighting that till the very end. You knew that you will meet barriers, obstacles, and so on; regardless about studies, love, friends, or even families but the only product is about you only... What I'm trying to say is whatever you do, you do it for your own sake. No one else... Trust me. I've been there, done that. And by the way, don't get too attach with rules and studies. the world is so huge for you to attach by those... :)

"This world is so huge to be explore. So venture all over and experience it! Show it to your friend and tell those who are still conservative how it's like to be free...." Mr Sylvester, my Art teacher...

And with that, on the evening of 27 August 2013, I'm officially step out from Kubong. Four months, thousand memories to be cherished. Four months, hundred of friends met and made. Four months, and I'm learning to be an adult... Goodbye Kubong...

So, what's next? XOXOD

Someone Who Cares For You....

Care? What other words could define 'care'? I have no idea, but i know that somehow there is someone who cares for me and cares for you as well. I know that because i know that...

Owh hey, another blog update and another thought and expression of what i am to someone. Im sorry i dont have any intro, but somehow i felt an urgent need to tell what i feel right now. To whom it may concern, heres for you:

To That Someone...

Im sorry if i havent have any time for you. Im so sorry for what you have felt during this trials and tribulations. I never knew that i might be typing this for you but heres what i wanna express to you...

***

I know uve been going through hard time, and rough patches right now. And apparently i only can do little for you. I know i cant fix you up, but please let me be that someone who could u lend on and support. Please let me be someone who could hear all ur problem and listen with deep though and feeling of what uve been through. I never could understand what situations uve been, and i dont blame u for that, because that's your choice. I knew that u are n trouble and i just wanna be there to hear ur mourning, listen ur crying and wiping each and every tears u cried. Not for someone but for urself. Nevertheless, i just wanna be there to keep u warm, be by ur side and just there until u cried ur last...

***

I know its difficult, but dont blame others. No great stories comes without a twist or two of ur stories... If u really found me annoying, thats ur choice and i dont blame u; but im there to stay no matter what kind of decisions u might be. Its a pain, really that u said u had gave up with ur life and u just want to end that just to open each and every people u concern so much of how wrong they were.... I dont want to argue about that but when u said u want to gave up, u made me feel worse... Far more worse than you imagine, cause i really care for u... As i said, i cant fix u up, but bear in mind that u have a choice: whether u just wanna gave up what u achieve, so that everyone would realised what they had done wrong; or u just wanna hear my pleas, stand up everytime i held my hand to help u everytime u fall.... Its ur choice... All that i want to say is that im here by your side together with God to help you up whenever u felt so lonely, so depressed, and when u though that World would deny you... Me, by ur side....

***

 
To Ms. That-Special-Someone, this one is for you... :')

Less than Three, Darren Junior... XOXOD

Never Again.....

Hey ho hi, peeps and bloggers.... Blogger Man login and updating.... ^^

Aight, so secara rasminya saya sudah mengibar bendera putih kat semua pelajar form 6, dan saya tak malu untuk kibarkan bendera putih tatkala orang lain mengibarkan bendera Jalur Gemilang.... But wait! Apesal saya nak sangat kibarkan bendera putih merangkap tanda kekalahan itu? Alright, saya dah officially...

....SURRENDER DENGAN FORM 6..... X(

Bukan mau kata apa, but memang susah giler tahap gaban bila belajar kat Form 6, so secara rasminya pada 3 Ogos 2013, saya telah mengemaskini permohonan a.k.a. rayuan saya a.k.a. appeal saya kt Pusat Politeknik.... Harap2 sangat2 yang saya akan kena terpilih untuk pergi politeknik, dan lari daripada 'The Nightmare of Form 6'.... Seriously.... 

Dan 23 Ogos nanti kalau saya dah dapat, banyak2 pujian kepada Tuhan.... like seriously, saya amat bersyukur; BUT klau saya tak dapat, nangis saya tiga hari tiga malam.... I mean it.... But sekarang, saya cuma dapat berdoa yang permohonan saya akan berjaya.... 

AMEN... :)

Alright, that's all for me from now... Keep on updating for more! XOXOD

Girl Who Step Into My Life: Chapter III - Faith For You...

Hey ho hi peeps and bloggers... Blogger Man login and updating... ^^

Lama sudah sejak saya x berapa masuk blog sy dan update blog nih... And yeap, saya akan teruskan blog series itu yg sekian lama saya simpan, dan rasa-rasanya patut di'share'kan kepada semua...

Chapter III: Faith For You...

Minggu Orientasi 2012, dan saya secara x sengaja terpilih untuk menjadi facilitator bagi minggu orienntasi sekolah tu. Then, someone really amazing really capturing my attention... Flawless, beautiful, and innocent... That's her, Faitholina... And yeap, dia memang menarik perhatian saya. And apparently, dia tu form 1, padahal saya form 5- so saya ambik keputusan utk sekadar rapat2 sebagai senior-junior sahaja.... Namun begitu, cara saya layan perempuan ni agak lain. Kinda special really, di mana saya mungkin lebih mesra dengan cara saya cakap, wlaupun dengan kawan... so thx....

Back to the stories, saya semakin rapat dengan Faith (Faitholina for short. I love calling her Faith) ... Saya bantu dia menyesuaikan diri dengan persekitaran sekolah, dia bantu saya dengan mana2 yg patut... Some sort like friend with mutual interest....

Till one day, saya secara tak sengaja kata yang dia memang menarik minat serta perhatian saya dan mata dia terus bersinar2... Owh gosh, macam mana nih? Ok Darren, chill down relax and blow her away... Yelah tu.... I can't...Semua sekolah dah kena tau... What to do, What to do? Ok, so sy anggap xda apa2 yang berlaku...Btw, saya sekadar terlepas cakap... Everyone would soon forget, right?

But not so fast!

Dia terusdatang mendekati saya. Kali ni semakin rapat daripada saya. Saya pun kata, "Alright this is kinda akward...?" Malah berlambak-lambak surat yang saya terima daripada dia kata ayat-ayat jiwang terlampau karat mengalahkan motorsikal berkarat milik uncle belakang rumah...So, demi keselamaan serta maruah saya, saya cuba untuk menjauhkan diri daripada Faith. Biarlah orang lain anggap kami skandal, asal bukan kapel... Itu saja yang saya mintak...

And it works... saya semakin menjauhi dia, dia pulak semakin dijauhi saya. Dan saya selamat. Khabar angin, tak ada lagi! Mcm lagu Adele- Rumor Has It! But still, ada jugak rasa kosong kat dalam hati saya, x ada org yg mengacau saya and it's hard to say but I REALLY MISSED HER...

Satu hari time selepas sekolah, saya sepatutnya meronda sekolah bersama-sama dengan kawan-kawan pengawas saya. Then apabila ditugaskan untuk pergi meronda kat Tingkat dua Blok A, saya terjumpa Faith bersama dengan lelaki lain berdating.... Dan time itulah antara yang paling saya sangat sesali, di mana saya memarahi mereka dengan begitu lantang, dengan begitu teruk smpai melibatkan semua perasaan yang selama ini saya pendam... Last2 saya kata SAYA SUKAKAN DIA depan teman lelaki dia masa itu. Then, saya heret mereka dua kepada Pengetua dan serta-merta mereka dibuang asrama........

Pada masa itulah saya mula terfikir yang saya hanyalah skandal Faith dan jugak sebaliknya... Kenapa saya begitu menghargai perasaan skandal ini? Apakah memang benar2 saya memang menyukai dia dan inginkan sesuatu yang jauh lebih baik daripada itu? I seriously have no idea whatsoever about it...

Faith For You, my fourth ex-girlfriend, and her name is Faith

XOXOD

A Light.... A Hope....

Hey hi ho, peeps and bloggers.... Blogger Man login and updating... ^^

Its been such a while since I haven't updating my blog.... Well, biasalah, bnyak sngat aktiviti berlaku, and I felt so grateful to God for that... ^^ But that's not i wanna say right now... Skip the intro, shall we?

A Light... A Hope... 

Its been a while setelah saya tinggalkan tempat tu, that very special place.... St. Francis of Assisi Seminary... And ironically, time saya mau tinggalkan tempat tu dengan lagu "His Glory Appear" dari Hillsong United tambah lagi dengan hujai renyai2, rasa mau nangis memang ada.... Seriously. That two conditions: 'His Glory Appear' + Hujan renyai2 = *sob2.... But once again, why I eagerly wanna say this? 

St Francis of Assisi Seminary, Miri... That place where one of the important events happen at that place... First event that happen at there during 2008, where I meet my first love. The love that could bring back innocent time, that love that seems u could remember over and over again.... And that girl I thought she might be Ms. That-Special-Someone.... well, who knows? Anybody's guess.... And last few days, I went there, and saw that same spot. That spot when we first spoke about 'Grace'... And I can see the reflections of me 5 years younger with her talking to each other... And slowly I went to the outside of the Seminary and I can see my reflection walking with her to Hall... And I didn't realised there's a droplets of rain that suddenly turn heavy. Instantaneously, I ran to the Hall, and saw that stage... That stage where I shared my pieces of stories, and again I saw my own reflections at there... sitting at the edge of the stage, with my long yellow-black sleeve made a sharing... And I still remember when i made my sharing, I stared at her and wonder what her reaction when she realised that... =)

St. Francis of Assisi Seminary... the place when I first saw her, my first love, my might be Miss That-Special-Someone; and also the place when i said my goodbye to her.... The moment when I saw her with her luggage and her humongous Teddy Bear (Teddy Bear lover) going with her family back to where she stayed, and I still remember that I monologue, she might have a huge effect on me... Yeah... 

Few days ago, when i headed back to where I started, I felt a sudden whisper inside me... Like "Here you go, Darren! You came back to this Seminary for a reason. Not only because of CYA, but there's something more God wanna show to you. That place u knew so well.... Hope, Darren. HOPE..." And yeah, I do believe there's a hope inside what God has planned for me...

One week passed and I finally passed my CYA leadership camp... And on that last day, i have to go to the Youth Rally Concert, waiting and keep on waiting... And on that moment, I saw her....

I saw my Ms. That-Special-Someone! Yeap, my first love is Daphne Donna, the one that I saw her five years ago, the one that I've been with and yeap, that one girl that I'm hoping so much... The one I've been waiting for so long and the one and only unforgetable by myself; because she's my first love.... So, Daph, if you read this, know that we have something beautiful inside right now that is HOPE.... =) XOXOD